Friday, September 28, 2007

Tom Cruise is such a gimp

Just now reading Stuff, you can't escape the embarrassing conclusion that Tom Cruise is a fucking idiot.

Cruise plans underground bunker

Tom Cruise is allegedly planning to build a bunker underneath his house in preparation for the end of the world. The Top Gun star, who is a devout follower of Scientology, is said to believe evil intergalactic ruler Xenu will attack Earth and so has designed a place to hide underneath his Colorado mansion.

Tom Cruise fumes over inappropriate fart

Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence. The actor - who is shooting World War II drama Valkyrie in Berlin - had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to break wind during the tribute.

And get this:
The silence* was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.
Fuck me, what a gimp.

He also makes unwatchable films that might otherwise have been bearable. And as for what he's done to that sweet little angel Katie Holmes; doesn't bear thinking about.



* should that be "silence"? cos apparently it wasn't, y'know, silent.

Again, I beseech you... God Bless America

1987 Harley DavidsonFuck me, it just gets better and better. Appalled to read on Uncommon Sense that apparently, lethal force can be used by cops in America to end low-speed chases that follow from minor traffic infractions.

Appeals Court Authorizes Lethal Force in Low Speed Chases
A cop got away with murdering a motorcycle rider -- by chasing him down, ramming him and then driving over him when he refused to stop.
After turning onto Mount Shepherd Road, however, Deputy Sheriff Rodney Coe rammed the motorcycle a second time, knocking Gerald "Tiny" Abney off his bike and killing him. Abney's family filed a lawsuit claiming Coe used unreasonable force. In its July decision, the federal appeals court rejected the family's argument by asserting the low-speed chase was, in fact, dangerous.

Awesome. Truly awesome. "Don't Ram Me, Bro!"

Friday Farce: Are you having a good day? Really?

We've had Albert Kuvezin and Yat Kha, his Tuvan throat-singing rock band, before -- but that's no reason not to have him again.
Albert Kuvezin and Yat Kha - Orgasmatron (1.76 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Like I said:
.. at least is as comical as a drunk Irish pub band featuring a retarded Rumanian vampire/Dr. Frank-N-Furter-wannabe on vocals. Or something ..
...

And now for the rest of the news:

"Don't Tase Me, Bro!"
University of Florida student Andrew Meyer barges in line to harangue Massachusetts senator John Kerry during a campus talk that day; he refuses to pipe down after being asked to by the forum's organizers, police haul him off, force him to the ground and taser him.

Tom: Someone (I think it was either Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert) apparently described the incident as "a unique combination of police brutality and student douchebaggery". While it's an appalling example of the taser-happiness of the US police (here's another example: a guy tasered for the unforgivable crime of riding a bike), it's hard not to be reminded of Eric Idle in The Holy Grail: "Help, I'm being oppressed!", "Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

God Bless America!

Art or Bio-Terrorism? Justice Department makes big mistake
When a New York professor called 911 for his wife's heart attack, they mistook his science equipment for bioterrorism supplies. He was detained for 22 hours, they cordoned off his block, and searched his house in hazmat suits. When they realized there was nothing harmful there, they decided to prosecute him for "mail fraud" for buying the supplies!

No, god Bless America!

...

Busty tourist 'humiliated' at casino
A night of celebration turned to humiliation when an English tourist's "offensive" breasts upset fellow punters at the Christchurch Casino.

In all seriousness, though, DO bless women with colossal boobs -- god knows they don't have an easy time of it.

...

There's been another installment by The Commonsense Nihilist to his graphic novel, as well as some more notes.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Dylan/D.A.Pennebaker viral

Live seht

In case anyone's interested, here's an excerpt from my live show the other night, at Happy.



The gig went really well; I did a sorta minimal dub-remix -- using a laptop, mixer, and a whole slew of guitar effects boxes -- of some tracks I have been working on for an album that is hopefully gonna come out on Digitalis late late this year, or early the next.

Well at least, most of the show went well. Near the end, I totally overloaded the PA with some serious subsonic low-end, and the sound turned to shit but hey -- whatever.

Jason Kahn was really great, too.

(That pic is not from the other night, it's of me playing a couple of years ago in Sydney.)

Suck it, Jesus

Diminutive loudmouth Kathy Griffin annoys the piss out of me, but I gotta give her serious props for her acceptance speech at the recent Emmy award show:

A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus.

Griffin was collecting her Emmy for best reality program, for her Bravo channel show My Life on the D-List.

The outburst drew laughs from the crowd, and predictable outrage from stupid Americans, and other dumbfucks.

Eddy Vinsin - Juice Head Blues (2.46 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Knocked Up on DVD

Own It 9/25 on DVD.. in the States, anyways...

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya (2.46 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Monday, September 24, 2007

Mystery Monday: ******s

A new regular feature showcasing mysterious tunes that take my fancy, juxtaposed with mysterious results from Google Image Search. Listen up, clickety-click and go where the web takes you...

mysterious





Prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who the track is.

And if you are a maker of mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Gigs coming up

I'm doing a solo gig as Seht on Sunday night. I'm playing in support of Jason Kahn, from Switzerland.

Jason Kahn is a sound and visual artist based in Zürich whose work includes drawing, sound installation, performance and composition. He was born in New York, grew up in Los Angeles and relocated to Europe in 1990. Kahn has been exhibiting his sound and visual works since the late 1990's, and has had solo and group exhibitions in museums, galleries and arts spaces pretty much everywhere in the damn world.

Originally a percussionist, Kahn later began integrating live electronics into his playing. He currently performs with different combinations of percussion, analogue synthesizer or computer. As a composer, Kahn's work addresses the entity of sound as both a physical and psychological factor shaping our consciousness; his sound installations seek to enhance spatial awareness through sonic intervention, focusing on expanding our perception to other dimensions of seeing, hearing and feeling a space.

(For more information about Jason and his work, see his site.)

JASON KAHN
with SEHT and JEFF HENDERSON
HAPPY SUNDAY SEPT 23



PLUS

The Stumps are playing at the White Fungus issue #8 launch on Wednesday night. This is also at Happy. Also appearing are FERTILITY FESTIVAL. Keep an eye on the White Fungus News blog for more information.

Gwan, yknow ya wanna.

Catching up

Sorry about the delay there; nothing to worry about, just had a bit of a messy midweek with which to contend. Thanks for your long-suffering tolerance, though.
  • I has a profile at NZ Cricket Online. Nothing to get excited about, though, it's all a bit of a laugh. Speaking of cricket, though, it's almost the beginning of the new season, and the mighty Falconhawk(e) is about to rise from the ashes of um.. last season.
  • The Commonsense Nihilist is taking the New Zealand Security Intelligence Service head-on in his own inimitable way.
  • It was Kiran's birthday the other night; we had a drunken blast -- part of which involved her challenging me that I couldn't sling her over my shoulder and cart her down the street (silly girl!). She loved the present I got her.

Oh, and check out these guys:




They're Welsh rugby players Adam Jones, Colin Charvis and Duncan Jones. Aren't they the CUTEST???? Don't you love their hair?

Me too.

They look like big fluffy poodles, not mean, ferocious forwards in a rugby team.

Friday Farce: The Jeru world of Salem

Ok, don't talk to me, you gotta blame Jani for this one (tail end of the Friday Farce Jerusalem saga -- you cans follow it back in time):

Bruce Dickinson - Jerusalem (feat. Arthur Brown) (4.56 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)


Bruce Dickinson is of course the singer in Iron Maiden, not that that has stopped him from over the years making a bunch of albums on his own. This version of Jerusalem --not exactly a cover, more a re-setting of the William Blake poem to different music again -- is from his 1998 album The Chemical Wedding.

The spoken-word part at the end is performed by Arthur Brown. Yep, you heard me right, THE Arthur Brown.

He of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown. He of the theatrical performances. He of the outlandish costumes and helmets of fire. He of the demented, fire-obsessed lyrical visions and swooping, theatrical vocals:

One of the most electrifying one-shot artists of the '60s, British singer Arthur Brown briefly set the charts alight in 1968, and his debut album was surely one of the most left-field commercial successes of the late '60s, if not of rock history...


Here's his signature tune Fire, as well as the maniacal cover of Screaming Jay Hawkins' I Put A Spell On You which appeared on the same album.

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire (2.12 MB mp3)


The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - I Put A Spell On You (2.79 MB mp3)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The news for Tues

All Blacks accused of Pacific pillage - again
Welshman and English rugby apologist Stephen Jones once again trots out his traditionally predictable, boring shite about New Zealand rugby and as usual, conveniently ignores the immigration trends of Pacific Islanders moving to New Zealand and the diverse cultural mix in our major cities.

He's also a really, really unattractive man. Now I'm not averse to a Welshman, me, but gee whiz, send him back to the fucken valleys wouldya?


Chinese man dies after three-day internet session
Meanwhile Chinese President Hu Jintao is heading a campaign to rid the internet of "unhealthy" content and make it a platform for Communist Party doctrine.

*is looking forward to being able to read the complete works of Mao online*

KFC drives Restaurant Brands' sales boost
Restaurant Brands is reporting second quarter sales across its three New Zealand businesses up 5.8 per cent to $93.6 million, in the most driven by solid growth in the KFC business.

Wow. People still eat KFC?


Who was that masked All Black?
A rather large individual with a hood over his head runs manically through a Rugby World Cup media conference.

Carl Hayman amuses and then shocks world media by first doing his impression of a gimp, followed by his "Michael Jackson" (sans infant, of course) and "the one that always slays em", a member of Black September at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Can - Mother Upduff (4.1 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

My new favourite blog: Corporate-Alien Blog

George Lunt's Corporate-Alien Blog:

Favourite two recent posts:
Malevolent extra-terrestrials and alien corporations are trying to poison us through substandard pharmeceuticals.Emotional propaganda used to encourage people to observe seatbelt laws is analogous to campaigns used by Hitler to "get his people to let him make important decisions for them".

The blog actually just seems to be a wrapper/index for the Corporate/Aliens site.

Blog author George Lunt also writes Lunt's World.

Alien Logo

Monday, September 17, 2007

Mystery Monday: ***t

A new regular feature showcasing mysterious tunes that take my fancy, juxtaposed with mysterious results from Google Image Search. Listen up, clickety-click and go where the web takes you...

mysterious





Prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who the track is.

And if you are a maker of mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday Farce bonus edition: The Fall of Jerusalem

Said it wasn't gonna happen. It is. Oh well.
The Fall - Jerusalem (2.81 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)


The Fall are great.

My new favourite blog: Things I Find

Things I Find... is a blog about finding stuff (mostly writing, and pictures, on bits of paper):

Yeah, I do realise that this is not an earth-shatteringly original concept (Found magazine; Dirty Found magazine.)

Blog author James Aaron Lindsey also writes OCD-MAN.

Friday farce: The Subject was Faggots

Street poet Gil Scott-Heron (wikipedia) gets a lot of props for being a right-on brother and so on; his 'song' The Revolution will not be Televised is played and covered and referenced and quoted often, and rightly so -- it's a cute li'l slice of invective -- although to be honest it has become a little too much like a Ché Guevera tshirt/poster to carry too much cultural significance any more.

The album that track is taken from -- Small Talk at 125th and Lennox (allmusic) -- was recorded live in a New York nightclub with only bongos and conga as backing, and it's regarded as "a volcanic upheaval of intellectualism and social critique". However it is blighted by the inclusion of a stupid, confused, and rancidly homophobic track called The Subject Was Faggots.

Gil Scott-Heron - The Subject Was Faggots (1.91 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

...

A guy called Chris Crocker got pretty (in)famous pretty damn quick for his Youtube video slating the critics of Britney Spears after her MTV VMAs debacle.



God, check out some of those comments. 40 years older, nothing's changed. (It was even worse in the comments on the follow-up video, which was pulled down by Chris after only a few hours.) And even worse was that when Fox news covered it, a good deal of time was spent making derogatory remarks about Chris' sexual androgeny.

My comment to America, the so-called "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave": shut the fuck up about freedom, until gay people are safe from your hateful "freedom-loving" "christian" "patriots".

...

Check out and even download the Gil Scott-Heron album here.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My favourite new blog: 100 word

100 word blog: "with the short of attention in mind" -- great concept, posts of no more than 100 words. For example, where he kinda pwns Che's toasted-sandwich post.

toasted sandwich


Good stuff.

My favourite new blog: Kyle Chapman

Hee hee.. (former-)New Zealand National Front dude Kyle Chapman (wikipedia; scoop).

(thanks, 100word blog).

Didya notice how the first two photos of last politicle [sic] campaign look like before & after examples of one of those creepy Stalin-era "erasing history" photo alterations?

Kyle is currently campaigning to become mayor of Christchurch.
(updated 2007-09-14)

Twenty-Two Things We Now Know Six Years After 9/11

From Scoop -- Twenty-Two Things We Now Know Six Years After 9/11.

I've summarised the article; the actual text is much more thorough. Read it at your own peril; sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

9/11 and "the War on Terror"

1. Iraq Plan Preceeded 9/11
Planning for an attack on Iraq already had begun at the first cabinet meetings after Inauguration Day in early 2001; after 9/11, those plans proceeded apace...
2. Unanswered 9/11 Questions
There still are unanswered questions about the horrific events of September 11, 2001...
3. The Facts of 9/11
Bush & Co. had to be dragged kicking and screaming into agreeing to the appointment of the official 9/11 Commission, and they named one of their own 'made' men as the executive director...
4. PNAC & the Neo-Cons
The key neo-con leaders in charge of U.S. foreign/military policy were founders of, and affiliated with, The Project for The New American Century (PNAC), a Far Right segment of the conservative movement was dedicated to using America's sole superpower status to move aggressively in the world while, they believed, no other country or international force could put up much resistance...

The Iraq Invasion and Occupation

5. Sexing Up the Intel
Among the first moves by Rumsfeld following 9/11 was to somehow try to connect Saddam to the terror attacks. The various intelligence agencies reported to Rumsfeld that there was no Iraq connection to 9/11, and that it was an al-Qaida operation, but those findings were merely bothersome impediments...
6. The Big Lie & the Downing Street Revelations
Advisers warned Tony Blair that he was about to involve the U.K. in an illegal, immoral and probably unwinnable war that would put U.K. and U.S. troops in great danger from potential insurgent forces...
7. Iran Is Beneficiary of U.S. Policy
The real reasons for invading Iraq were to do with American geopolitical goals in the region involving oil, control, support for its ally Israel, hardened military bases and keeping Iran from having free rein in the region.
8. Iraq As a Disaster Zone
Bush's war in Iraq has been a thorough disaster, built on a foundation of lies, and bungled from the start...
9. The Stretched-Thin Military
Bush's Middle East agenda is suffering because the U.S. military is spread way thin in Afghanistan and Iraq, the desertion and suicide rates are high, soldiers are not re-enlisting at the usual clip, recruitment isn't working and deceptive scams are being used to lure youngsters into signing up. In short, there are no forces to spare on the ground...
10. Hiding Facts from the Public
Bush&Co. made sure that there would be no full-scale, independent probes of their role in using and abusing the intelligence that led to war on Iraq...

The Turn to Tyranny at Home

11. Perilously Close to Dictatorship
Legal philosophies devised that permit Bush to do pretty much what he wants -- ignore laws on the books, disappear U.S. citizens into military prisons, authorize torture, spy on citizens' phone calls and emails, declare martial law and rule by decree, etc. -- whenever he says he's acting as "commander-in-chief" during "wartime"...
12. Torture As Official U.S. Policy
Bush-loyalist lawyers devised legal rationales that make torture of suspects official state policy, greatly widened the definition of what is acceptable interrogation practice -- basically anything this side of death or terminally abusing internal organs -- and authorized the "rendering" of key suspects to countries specializing in extreme torture...
13. The Bill of Rights Goes "Quaint"
The Bush Administration has been able to obtain whatever legislation it needs in its self-proclaimed "war on terror" by utilizing, and hyping, the understandable fright of the American people...
14. Outing CIA Agents for Political Reasons
The Bush Administration, for its own crass political reasons, compromised American national security by revealing the identity of two key intelligence operatives...
15. Do You Know If Your Vote Is Counted?
Sophisticated statistical analysis along with wide-scale exit-polling suggests strongly that the 2004 election results were fiddled with by the private companies that tally the votes -- companies which are owned by far-right Republican supporters...
16. No Privacy Anymore
Shortly after 9/11, CheneyBush authorized massive data-mining of Americans' phone calls and emails, along with other domestic spying operations, many of them in clear violation of the FISA law establishing a separate, secret court to rule on requests for eavesdropping warrants...
17. Purging the Body Politic
CheneyBush, angered by the unwillingness of the intelligence analysts at the CIA and State Department to cook the intel books for political reasons, conducted purges of recalcitrant analysts at CIA and State...
18. There Is No Real Economic Plan
The Bush Administration paid off its backers (and itself) by giving humongous tax breaks, for the next 10 years, to the already wealthy and to large corporations. In addition, corporate tax-evasion was made easier via offshore listings and by laying off thousands of IRS auditors of high-end returns...
19. Drowning Government In a Bathtub
The HardRight conservatives who control Bush policy don't really care what kind of debt and deficits their policies cause; in some ways, the more the better since they want to shrink government "down to the size where they can drown it in the bathtub"...
20. Privatizing Government Functions
In addition to trying to privatize Social Security and other government programs, CheneyBush have begun privatizing the military, partially through its all-volunteer army and by employing mercenaries ("independent contractors")...
21. Who Cares What You Drink or Breathe?
Bush environmental policy is an unmitigated disaster, giving pretty much free rein to corporations whose bottom lines do better when they don't have to pay attention to the public interest...
22. It's Faith Over Science, Myth Over Reality
How science is disregarded by the Bush Administration in favor of faith-based thinking...

I really, really do not want this horrowshow to be anywhere even approaching the truth.

Joe Zawinul 1932-2007

Oh crapola; Joe Zawinul died.


Joe Zawinul, the incredibly talented composer and keyboardist who played with, among others, Miles Davis and Cannonball Adderly, died today. He was 75.

More on Neverending Rainbow.

Invisible Anglingus

An Open Letter to Kanye West

Dear Kanye West,

Please shut up. Nobody cares. Sure, you're probably a marvelous producer and, according to white kids everywhere, you're a fantastic rapper.

more...


LOLz. Count it.

...



Even better than Britney Spears' bizarre performance on the MTV VMAs was comedienne Sarah Silverman's opening stand-up routine, which included her impersonation of Britney's "hairless" vulva. An utterly surreal moment of sublime physical comedy. I think.

Full transcript here.

In other news.. it happened again...

Multifaceted

I have been speculating for some time about what this is (on the pavement in Ghuznee Street outside Hamish McKay and Bowen Galleries):


One Moment Caller has speculated that it's the base of a sculpture, and made a purty wire-frame representation of it.



...

Another installment by The Commonsense Nihilist to his graphic novel.


...

A song:
The Legend! - Melt The Guns (2.33 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

From the 1987 Creation Records compilation WOW Wild Summer.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Happy September 11th

I wondered how long it would be before I saw some kind of 9/11 culture-jamming:



As it happens, it wasn't very long at all.

It was a beautiful spring day just like today -- and a Tuesday, too -- that six years ago I wandered down Aurora Tce and into the Terrace post office to post some LPs to the USA, and had to get the increasingly incredulous (!) shop-assistant to spell out why there would be unforeseen delays in getting the parcels to their destination. And then hurried home again, to spend the next few hours watching people jumping out of tall buildings; and so on.

And believe it or not, it was an utter coincidence that yesterday I posted some song-lyrics containing the following:

They wanna have a war to keep us on our knees
They wanna have a war to keep their factories
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
They wanna have a war to stop industrial disease
They're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind
They wanna sap your energy incarcerate your mind



... which frankly I find quite uncanny.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Dire Straits - The Final Oz Concert '86

Check this out: a post at "Dylan, etc." about the big Dire Straits concert in Syddo in 1986. I remember the TV broadcast well (it was live to Australia and New Zealand), introduced by a young-ish and nervous Molly Meldrum blathering on from a teleprompter and fluffing most of it. The concert itself is good enough, but it bears little relation to anything I like about Dire Straights; the dude at Dylan, etc. likes it a lot more than me, though. Lots of people recorded it on top-loading VCRs onto grainy domestic quality-VHS tapes with lines and blown-out reds and it got dubbed a lot and passed around people's parents and it sat on little shelves under their TVs for up to 10 years.

The post I linked to above has links for downloading the audio from the concert; if you go here you can download individual tracks. It's not available commercially, so don't worry about that.

I quite like the track Industrial Disease:

I go down to speaker's corner I'm thunderstruck
They got free speech, tourists, police in trucks
Two men say they're Jesus one of them must be wrong
There's a protest singer singing a protest song - he says
They wanna have a war to keep us on our knees
They wanna have a war to keep their factories
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
They wanna have a war to stop industrial disease
They're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind
They wanna sap your energy incarcerate your mind
They give you Rule Brittania, gassy beer, page three
Two weeks in Espana and Sunday striptease
Meanwhile the first Jesus says I'd cure it soon
Abolish monday mornings and friday afternoons
The other one's on a hunger strike he's dying by degrees
How come Jesus gets industrial disease?

I'm still trying to work out which war they're talking about, though. Maybe they're talking about all wars. (Lyrics from LyricsFreak; if you wanna know more about industrial disease, you can read about it here).

But this is all a long-winded way of saying that I gotta get me one of them headbands. Seriously.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Bus zcut

SEP 06, 2007
0912 #09 Aro Cafe to Railway Stn
Barreling down Aro St at high speed, whaddya know -- the pole come flying off and bus screeches to a halt, inertia sends passengers into seats, rails in front/onto floor.
Speeding in Willis St, sudden heavy braking at Old Bodega stop sends passengers into seats, rails in front/onto floor. Again.
Hard acceleration away from Education Hse stop (Willis St) causes passenger to lurch down almost entire length of bus, arms flailing trying to grab hold of something with which to arrest her progress. She eventually collapses in a heap in the bench seat at rear of bus.
Speeding and hard acceleration/deceleration the rest of the journey down Willis St and along Lambton Quay.

I swear to god, this driver is the same cocksucker that almost caused the accident on the night of the 3rd. Ever-polite passengers call out "Thanks, driver" as they alight at the terminal; I almost have to clamp mouth shut with hands to keep from calling "Don't drive so fucking fast, jerk-off" as I step down.

Yep.

Need to save my best lines for some final, future showdown.

...

Harry was pretty sleepy this morning. Pretty damn sleepy.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Bus woes #2

Well, that didn't take long. Here's a whole pile more tales of woe:

Bus Angst 32 (Wellingtonista)
More reasons to moan about the buses (Wellingtonista)
Dear fellow bus-passenger (Wellingtonista)

...not to mention...

Thanks, driver (Bizgirl)
I have ten-trip (Bizgirl)
Hole in my retina (Bizgirl)

...and...

Bully (Drinks After Work)

Bus woes

I've avoided it as long as I can but I'm going to have to start laying into the Wellington buses. This will serve two purposes -- to gather a weight of evidence with which to construct a platform from which I can launch a series of more formal remonstrances; and possibly more importantly, to make me feel better.

Hopefully any others feeling similarly aggrieved will feel comfortable adding their own experiences to my journal of woe.

SEP 03, 2007
1810 #09 to Aro Valley
Left terminal at least 2 minutes early, by his own time.
Crashed red-light by Kirkcaldies stop, nearly colliding with a car turning out of Brandon St onto Lambton Quay; braked heavily sending passengers sprawling, and banging into seat-rails in front.
Hard accelerating and speeding in Victoria St, dislodging trolley-pole at Dixon St intersection and braking heavily at "Lexus Nexus" stop causing further passenger discomfort as per above.

SEP 04, 2007
0955 #01 from Dixon St to Railway Terminal
Started moving just after I boarded with an armload of parcels, causing me to lose footing.
Accelerated hard away from stop before I sat down -- causing me to lose footing again, parcels to go flying all over the floor, and me to tumble into the lap of a fellow passenger -- than braked very hard to avoid crashing through red light at Dixon/Victoria intersection.

...

Okay, so this all seems quite petty, doesn't it, except in addition to almost broadsiding a family car at considerable speed, on the 1610 #09 I saw an old guy smack his head on and almost fall under the seat in front; this morning, if I'd been carrying something valuable or fragile it would have been broken -- and if I'd been carrying a child, as people sometimes do, god knows what would have happened. Leaving the terminal before the proscribed departure time is fucking lame and annoying -- so what the fuck are timetables for? And all this speeding and heavy braking is just unnecessary.

UPDATE

A couple of points re. leaving comments about bus experiences:
  • Historical stories are fun, but an ongoing record of crappiness will be much more useful.
  • With that in mind, please try to record the date, time, route number and stops travelled from/to with your remarks.
  • I'm not particularly interested in singling out particular drivers for attention or discipline -- I don't want people to lose their jobs, just for the service to get better -- but I am aware that by recording such details (above), the bus company will probably be able to take action against drivers as they see fit.
Some oldies but goodies.

...

On a slightly lighter note, in writing this post I've discovered that two synonymic expressions for diarrhoea are "the Aztec two-step" and "Montezuma's revenge". Lol.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Camera

The camera adds pounds, or whatever, as they say, but does the camera add a high collar, a pair of hollow-bore fangs and a coffin filled with dirt in a castle somewhere east of Bohemia?

I found this stuff on Kiwiblog. I can't be bothered with all the guff comparing Helen Clark with Robert Muldoon (pictorially OR politically), but this short morpho-tastic clip (below) is truly unsettling.





Who the hell is that at the end there? Frank-n-Furter?

...

You're gonna want to get the bad taste out of your mouth: so here's Tony Conrad with Faust -- From the side of man and womankind - part 2, first track of the album Outside the Dream Syndicate (1972).

Tim's comic

Over on White Fungus News, Tim has made a comic (click to see bigger).

youl ooke datm e. iloo keda tthe wall.

The Stumps show seemed to go quite well the other night, although the recording would seem to suggest otherwise. Honestly, but -- when do they not, eh? Live recordings, man *shudders*

...

I tell you what, fucking Telecom had better get their shit sorted out pronto. Not only did they make a complete balls-up of the recent move to their new Yahoo|Xtra email system, but they have obviously fucked up their spam-trapping somewhere along the line. I am being absolutely inundated with spam now; before the changeover, I was lucky if I saw one a day in my Inbox.

It's nice of them to give us one week's free internet as compensation for the email problems, but frankly, they can keep it -- just sort out the spam, guys. On the plus side, their new webmail client is streets ahead of the previous one -- so cheers to that -- though I dread to imagine how badly it's going to not work on my cellphone, or PDA.

A Facelift parody of the Yahoo|Xtra email trouble on Michael Gregg's blog.

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The Commonsense Nihilist has published a set of background notes on his graphic novel. These are in their own right very interesting, but in addition they shed -- in some cases, crucial -- extra illumination on the goings-on in the comic.

His working title for the work is The New World: A revenge fantasy, which I quite like.

An index to proceedings:
Here is a link to the first instalment.
Here is a link to the second instalment.

I'll probably keep doing this, mainly on the off-chance someone is interested, but not so interested as to yet have loaded his URL into a feed-reader.

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I drew this before, on my friend Martha's wall, on Facebook. It's the avenging croco-angel of modernism.


There was some debate initially as to whether or not it was actually a bird-angel, but I cleared up any confusion when I pointed out that bird-angels don't wear all-in-one flannelette jump-suits with built-in booties -- that privilege is reserved solely for croco-angels.

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Can you tell I'm stalling? My phone's battery died, and I can't get the photos I want/need off it.