Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Love is a fist

I felt sick all day today. Sick like going to get sick, like soreness building up in my throat and so on. Had to go to the doctor (The Mill Liquorsave) and get myself a script (1 litre of Teachers)... just took my medicine (a COLOSSAL belt of whiskey followed by another big glass to be sipped) and feel a lot better. Hence I am sitting here, eating my tea (stir fried bubble'n'squeak - leftover rice, leftover pasta, some chopped cocktail olives...) and blogging.

For weeks after The Jarman left, I was telling everyone that I was loving living alone. And I was.. I mean, I wasn't lying. I really was enjoying my new-found freedom and ability to do whatever I wanted and get really drunk all the time and be a bit of a slut. I just realised, however, that it's all bullshit. I hate living alone. What I meant, when I told ppl I was enjoying it, was really just that I was enjoying feeling less bad about coming home after 9 or 10 hours and spending several more hours on my own stuff. I was feeling less guilty about working late into the night every night recording new solo seht material, or building the next The Stumps album, or correcting the artwork for a new release, or making up 20 parcels of CDs and sending them to radio stations and magazines all over the world... fuck I just read all that and it makes me sound like such a shit boyfriend; forget you ever read it and just carry on about yer business, ok?

I'm listening to the first Mr Bungle album, and it's so GREAT! Goddamn it, it's nearly 15 years since my best friend Iain Wickens brought it to school and said "Man you gotta hear this album, it's got the new Faith No More singer on it, it's INSANE". And it's nearly ten years since one of my 'friends' (read - fucken loser who I lived with for a while) stole my CD copy of it. To this day I don't believe that the dick realises that I knew all along. Arrgghh.. long story, ok?

The other day I was feeling adventurous so I whipped up a profile on NZ Dating; "I'm gonna wreak some havoc" I said to myself (and to the_sifter, if I recall correctly). Wish I'd never bothered now.. just keep on getting emails from people whose feelings I can't bring myself to hurt.

Ms. Brown is going off, if you hadn't been keeping up. Also the_sifter aka J 'to the muthafucken dancing-with-myself" S has appeared in the drinking buddies on the right. *hic*

There's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place like home....

9 comments:

Kate Borrell said...

Re being a shit boyfriend: You've got to follow your passion.

Sounds like you're working incredibly hard on making things happen for you. That's takes persistence and drive. Something most people lack. I take my hat to you.

s. said...

And I take your hat, and try it on for size, and then decide it doesn't really suit me and I give it back to you.

Kate, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh; what you said was really nice and I appreciate it. Thanks :)

Kate Borrell said...

To tell you the truth I've nearly been a hat person. I have the head the size of a small child and when I wear a beany I look like one.

So keep the hat. They come in handy when you're a little too liquored up for the dodgy cab ride home at 3am.

Martha Craig said...

Seriously duuuuuuuuude, I know some very hot single women. I should hook you up. I'm very successful. Well, my matchmakees are getting married in January.

s. said...

Martha, if I didn't suspect you were playin' me, I'd take you up on that - in a flash.

:P

Martha Craig said...

I'm not playing you at all. If I could get my friends out with you I would, however I don't think they have the same faith in the internet - and my excellent instincts - that I do. They might think you were some kind of weirdo or something.

However, if one day you happen to see me, say hello. If I'd actually seen you in real life I think my matchmaking might be more credible.

Then again, you might be 22 years old for all I know.

Martha Craig said...

I take it back. You're 31 I see. You're the right demographic...

s. said...

What, so, if while perambulating along Jackson Street I happen to run into a giraffe, I should say to it "Hi 'Martha', hook me up with some of yo sexy-ass friends orright" and that will, as they say, be that?

Yes I am 31. I am in demand, apparently. Please form an orderly queue.

Martha Craig said...

Yes, you'll have no trouble spotting me, but people will look at you strangely.

And I'd be making the most of being in demand with an "Apprentice" style show - get the ladies working for you. Nice.