Yeah, I thought it was a good idea too.
Then my mind went totally blank.
The criteria is somewhat complicated. For a start, the tune cannot be wack in any shape or form. Things that could make a tune be wack include:
- it's on every other goddam Christmas compilation (no Snoopy's Christmas, y'dig)
- it's overtly, inertly or otherwise-didactically Christian or theological in some way
- .. and some other rather tenuous and difficult to describe aspects
James Brown -- Signs of Christmas
James Brown -- Let's make Christmas mean something this year
Stevie Wonder -- The day that love began
Stevie Wonder -- Someday at Christmas
Stevie Wonder -- Silver bells
Stevie Wonder -- Twinkle, twinkle, little me
Stevie Wonder -- What Christmas means to me
Stevie Wonder -- The miracles of Christmas
Stevie Wonder -- Everyone's a kid at Christmas time
and uh.. Big Star -- Jesus Christ
The James Browns are pretty much the only ones from this which don't suck ass. I mean are non-wack. The Stevie Wonders are from this, and there's bound to be much less of them in the final mix as soon as I can replace them with some other tracks.
There doesn't need to be a particular emphasis on funky-ass; just some soul and a little bit of melody will do. I'm anticipating there's probably some furious, stonkin' gospel shit out there which would go off... hopefully. I had high hopes for this compilation which I found on the blogosphere, but most of it is kinda lame -- with some stunning exceptions.
So can you help?
...
Come along to this, on Wednesday night, if you can (and are in Wellington, NZ):
6 comments:
you want non-wack?
well besides the obvious fahey album, this one rules:
where will you be on christmas day?"
the leadbelly and cotton top mountain sanctified singers tracks are especially great. and "papa ain't no santa claus (and mama ain't no christmas tree)" is genius for the title alone.
and then of course there's star wars christmas which is just bizarre (though "what would you get a wookiee for christmas (when he already owns a comb)" is kind of a must-hear).
oh, and bill monroe's "christmas time's a comin'" is the perhaps the best christmas song ever. damnit.
My favourite Yuletide tune is De La Soul's "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa", about a girl who shoots her father who's been molesting her. It sounds like it could be either a comedy tune or really cheesy, but thanks to a stonking Funkadelic sample and unsentimental lyrics, it just tells a good story and is almost disturbingly groovy. YewChoob link.
How about this then:
http://www.rockndog.com/Black_Christmas/
I got the Star Wars Christmas as mp3's somewhere... there were a couple of other strange Christmas albums on the same CDR as well. I remember uploading some of them for Brad Rose last year. How about that Christmas podccast, Brad?
Here's a classic one by Kim Bendix Petersen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74w6vE9hqhE
Oh yeah, if you're in the mood for something offensive, check out this Tiny Tim tune:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Hg0T171gs
Oh yeah, almost forgot the Terveet Kädet (Healtry Hands) ep "Ääretön joulu" ("Infinite Christmas").
The lyrics don't deal with the Yuletide fest, but the person on the cover has a burning candle sticking out of his arse.
The Sonics' 'Santa Claus' from the first album is really great. The other xmas track on there sucks though.
Possibly in a similar vein as the Sonics one there was that compilation that Michael 'Skinny' Simons put out a couple of years ago called 'Christmas On The Rocks - A Rock n Roll Christmas' which features numerous well known faux-garage losers like the D4, Datsuns, Hasselhoff Experiment etc etc. Highlight of the disc for me however is Matt Alien's version of 'Do They Know It's Christmas?'
I would also like to put in a vote for Kevin Bloody Wilson 'Christmas Song'.
Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
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