Today's Dom Post carried a story from the Nelson Mail about Jenni Phillips, who is extremely allergic to patchouli scent. Supposedly she is so sensitive to it that "she only needs to catch a whiff of it in the perfume people are wearing, to collapse in severe anaphylactic shock."At the risk of sounding flippant or disrepectful to Ms. Phillips - neither impression is intended, this is a serious problem - may I enquire of her as to why the fuck she is still living in Nelson. It must surely be second only to Goa or some fucken place like that in the hippies-per-square-foot statistics, and generally overrun by the stinking, deodorant-slash-antiperspirant-eschewing patchouli-daubed ropeheads.
I hate the stuff too - one patchouli-favouring psychotic ex-gf was all it took - call me a dog; hell, call me a Pavlov's dog - and so I suggest to Ms. Phillips that that in addition to her standard several shots of adrenaline, she start carrying about with her a large can of mace and a bucket of industrial-strength caustic soda. That way she can take the hippy by the rope and go on the offensive; when she encounters someone wearing the patchouli oil scent that is such a danger to her well-being, she should use the mace to disable them while she then melts they asses right there and then on the pavement.
3 comments:
you so funny stephen, you make me laugh! haha!
I was going to say the very same thing. Anonymous, are you me?
You won't find any scenes like in your naked mud picture in Richmond... it's not a hippie place at all. Lots of (non organic) farms... thriving malls + suburbs, big old polluting pulp and paper factory down the road from this woman's workplace... freezing works on the other side.
I think it's a bit of a myth that hippies in NZ at least favour patchouli oil... I dunno;
I prefer most pure essential oils or people's sweat or whatever to the nasty "deodorant" that most people use.
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