Cat pr0n

This foxy beauty currently lives in the SPCA in Rotorua.

I shall have her, I tells ya... and I think I shall call her Sammael.

Excuse me, but I have VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS

I thought this was funny:



... but possibly only because it's fun to make your cat talk to you when they are waiting for you to open the door for them and they are very very very hungry.

"LEMME IN YOU BASTARD!!1!1@!one" etc.

How come the sun's too bright to live

Last night I was walking home across Newtown about 1am and boy, it was foggy. Not exactly a pea-souper or anything -- I could quite easily see where I was going and whatnot -- but it was doing that weird and neat acoustical thing where the slightest sounds are amplified out of all proportion. Was having a lot of fun strolling down Lawrence Street while sounding like the BFG or something tromping along.

The cell-phone camera really didn't do the business, though -- it's really quite shit in the dark:


When I got home I set about taking some photos with my digital camera -- improvised tripod (stack of books on the window-ledge, anyone?) and all. This is looking west with a 5-second exposure at f2.8:


It's not a completely accurate representation of the scene, but it's as close as I could get. I tried to stop the shutter down but the field depth was too great and the resultant image not as effective.

One thing which alarmed me somewhat was that the flashing red lights on the cranes at the new hospital building site were completely invisible in the fog -- to the naked eye, anyway. "So," I thought, "let's try burning-in a loooooooong exposure to see if the camera can pick them up". This is a 30 second exposure looking north, using f2.8 again -- this time to get as much light as possible:


"Hells bells," thinks I -- "not a smidgeon of a trace of the warning lights. What happens if a plane comes flying down the valley and smacks right into the cranes, or worse still -- one of the hospital buildings!? It'd be like a re-enactment of the bloody Erebus disaster in my back yard!"

I zoomed in to 3x optical (Carl Zeiss lens, thanks for asking) and tried another 30 second exposure:


Wait a minute... did you see that?


Ho ho ho etc. Actually, of course the reason that the warning lights on the cranes were not visible is that construction of the super-structure of the new hospital is complete and the cranes were taken down some weeks ago.

Phew.

The best cat in the world

Surely this is the best cat in the world:

The cat was found in great pain trailing a gin trap clamped to its front left paw in the Christchurch suburb of Yaldhurst on Sunday.

Have you seen the size of that fucken thing? That he was dragging down the road?

The injured cat is recovering well and will be put up for adoption if it is not claimed by its owner by the middle of next week.

"He is a big, friendly cat and there is a good chance someone is missing him."

I know it's still months until Christmas, and even longer until my birthday again, but... can I please has?

Someone?

Buckle up, we're wayward bound

Breakfast in cemetery, boy tastin wild cherry.. touch girl, apple blossom, just a boy playin possum.

Beat Happening - Indian Summer (5.66 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Luna - Indian Summer (Beat Happening cover) (5.29 MB mp3)

Sonic Boom (Pete Kember) - Indian Summer (Beat Happening cover) (5.05 MB mp3)

We'll come back for Indian Summer
We'll come back for Indian Summer
We'll come back for Indian Summer
And go our separate ways.....................

Mai xmas tree, let me show you it

On Monday I mentioned the majesty of the Xmas tree; since then there has been much interest and many requests to see same. So as teh kitteh sumtimez sez, let me show you it:

Here you have the loveliness of the sprucelet, nestled there on the breakfast bar, all green and non-pine-smelling. You can clearly see the Xmas baby sock-monkey angel, in situ this time, and the smattering of gifts. You can see one of the somewhat-oversized fake wooden (and befeathered) doves, in which Harry shows only vague interest -- mainly in scenting them, he hasn't yet tried to eat one. I may also have forgotten to mention the silver decoration that more-than-slightly resembles razor-wire.

Here's Harry, reclining in his bed under the tree and showing only vague interest in the fake wooden doves:

The album of a The Sneak

Remember The Sneak? (I know, I know... how you could ever forget!)

Anyways, the other night I was 'round at The Sneak's house, drinking all her vodka and coke, and I took some photos. Today I made an album of a The Sneak on a The Catbook:

Crazy Sorry

Sorry for not posting more. Sorry for mixing up the publishing of the last Friday Farce, and Monday Mystery. Sorry for well.. sorry for not having a farce today, either.




Truthfully, it's been a bit hard to concentrate, what with bloody Kerry Prendergast getting another term as mayor of Wellington, and the country being overrun by terrorists.

Yeah.. so..

...

At least go here, there's been another installment by The Commonsense Nihilist to his graphic novel.

Friday Farce: Will you rescue me?

The Science of Sleep is a newish film from Michel Gondry, the director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (my review); it's a charming, enthralling, and ultimately alienating and frustrating fairy-tale romp through the whimsical world of a complete loon.

Here's the IMDB plot summary: A man entranced by his dreams and imagination is lovestruck with a French woman and feels he can show her his world.

Yup.

Here's something from Marc Savlov via RottenTomatos.com (where it scored 67%): An endearing, beautiful, hopelessly honest mess that's supported by a pair of performances so unnaturally natural that they draw you in and clutch you, struggling, to their flipping, flopping hearts.

Yup.

On the plus side, it features the totally fuck-able Gael García Bernal and the utterly lovely Charlotte Gainsbourg (or did I get those two the wrong way around?) in the lead roles, as well as supplying this week's farce. And so without further ado....... I give you........ this week's farce.

In summary, why would you turn this:

The Velvet Underground - After Hours (1.96 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

...into this:

Gael García Bernal, etc. - If You Rescue Me (chanson des chats) (3.91 MB mp3)

...or, god forbid, this, even:

Linda Serbu - If You Rescue Me (acappella) (2.12 MB mp3)

Still confused?

Why would you turn one of the most sweet, touching songs of all time into a cutesy little ditty about...... a kitten.

I dunno.

Gah.

Bus zcut

SEP 06, 2007
0912 #09 Aro Cafe to Railway Stn
Barreling down Aro St at high speed, whaddya know -- the pole come flying off and bus screeches to a halt, inertia sends passengers into seats, rails in front/onto floor.
Speeding in Willis St, sudden heavy braking at Old Bodega stop sends passengers into seats, rails in front/onto floor. Again.
Hard acceleration away from Education Hse stop (Willis St) causes passenger to lurch down almost entire length of bus, arms flailing trying to grab hold of something with which to arrest her progress. She eventually collapses in a heap in the bench seat at rear of bus.
Speeding and hard acceleration/deceleration the rest of the journey down Willis St and along Lambton Quay.

I swear to god, this driver is the same cocksucker that almost caused the accident on the night of the 3rd. Ever-polite passengers call out "Thanks, driver" as they alight at the terminal; I almost have to clamp mouth shut with hands to keep from calling "Don't drive so fucking fast, jerk-off" as I step down.

Yep.

Need to save my best lines for some final, future showdown.

...

Harry was pretty sleepy this morning. Pretty damn sleepy.

The Sneak is not dead

Once upon a time, Dr. The Sneak went missing. She used to go walkabout quite a lot, but she always turned up. This time, however, days and days went by and she never showed -- and we feared the worst.

To quickly invoke Sod's law and cause The Sneak to come home, I quickly whipped up a design and printed some The Sneak t-shirts:

The slogan The Sneak is Not Dead is based on the song that Strongbad (from Homestarrunner.com; video) sang when he thought his offsider The Cheat (video) had run away for ever.

Strongbad - The Cheat is Not Dead (2.79 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

Here is some more information about the song.

The Sneak is named after The Sneak (wikipedia), the old-timey version of The Cheat. He is described as being "a small rodent or opossum with a striped tail". It's alleged that he once put a Bengal tiger in The Kaiser's latrine. He had a song written about him -- The Ballad of the Sneak (video).

...

Oh, and yes -- The Sneak was definitely not dead (scroll down). Somehow she had found out about the bird sanctuary in Karori, and she had simply walked the several kilometers from our house to go and try her luck.

The secret valley of lost cheezburgas

Let me show u mai twig

There's no end in sight to the cheezburga shortages, and this -- coupled with the perennial burbps blight -- has led to feasibility studies being carried out on alternative food resources.

O hai, can we has sum m0re cheezburgaz?

There was a brief remission in the cheezburgaz availability problem, but then the local stockpiles were exhausted and the supply dried up again:

This morning there were official requests for cheezburgaz at 5.30 am, 6.45 am and 7.55 am, in addition to a couple of unofficial entreaties around midnight and 1am.

And then to top it all off, there were rumours of a breach of security at the bucket storage facility:

Fortunately, Harry was able to see off the purloiners quickly and effectively, earning himself a cheezburga and a commendation for bravery.

Stealing all my burbpz

Thanks, Pete...

...

(with a view to padding out this post) Recently I reviewed an interesting release by equally interesting NZ doom metal outfit Devoid Of All Mercy, for Foxy Digitalis:

Devoid Of All Mercy Your Children Left With The Stranger (Battlecruiser)

Um, how many different ways can I find to write that "Devoid Of All Mercy" is the perfect name for this band; there is no possible band name more appropriate, more fitting, more apt, than that. It's ruthless. It's fucking pitiless. It is without qualm or conscience. It's.. devoid of all mercy. It's the new CD reissue of the Battlecruiser 3" cdr of a couple of years back. It's Bob Dylan's wretched, evil twin, with a real bad phlegm problem, gently strumming at his guitar, fingering the shapes of the Diablo En Musica, singing about abduction, torture, rape, cannibalism, desolation, ruin. It's fucking horrible. And so, so good. 9/10 -- Stephen Clover (19 June, 2007)


Interesting because extreme music like "doom" "metal" is possibly not well-knowned for holding up a mirror to its own community and turning the spotlight on some of its more bleak socio-pathological ailments, albeit through the lens of a horror/slasher/gore/cannibal exploitation narrative.

Cheezburgaz shortage continues to be a world-wide problem

... and Harry continues to be hungry, more often than not:

Link: ICANHASCHEEZBURGER?