Granted, sunrise was about 8.30 am given that we were in the lee of some fairly monumental landscape, but the water was like ice. With shoulders under, you couldn't speak, let alone breathe... communication was limited to short noisy expulsions. Crown jewels disappeared in the direction of the centrally-heated abdominal cavity, much to the amusement of the Jarman. It was a foolish and excruciating - yet invigorating - way to start the day.
Wildlife, Kauaeranga Valley, Coromandel
Yep, that's a cow licking it's arse. Another one of those things we'd all do, if we could. Apparently.
Cows are quite good. If I may be allowed to anthropomorphise for a moment here, they have very wise faces. They will also happily look you in the eye - with their large, souful brown eyes - for minutes, and let you quite close to photograph and admire them. But they're not all work and no fun; the angle their ears describe to the sides of their faces is quite jaunty, and the attitude of their heads often verging on the rakish.
I also quite like how they talk. Very sombre... the lowing of the cattle and all that.
What you don't ever want to do is to think about sausages; specifically in the context of the lips, udders, and anuses of cows.
Quite often, if you spend long enough hanging around on the edge of the highway checking out the cattle in the field, a farmer will come and zoom anxiously up and down the road in his car or on a quad-bike, a bit like a jealous girlfriend.
Horses, a more recent enthusiasm, are also quite good.
Crime-spree in Gisborne
Hmmmm. Long story short... Small commercial book-shop in Gisborne (popn. 43,000). Discovered 5 copies of new edition of Ray Bradbury's classic Fahrenheit 451 - the 50th anniversary edition - on the shelf. Immediately postulated theory that store clerk mistook same for book-of-movie of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9-11 and ordered 5 copies, thinking "these'll sell like the proverbial". Chuckling. Delighted with compound irony of situation given theme of Bradbury novel. Delighted with self at inventing 'compound irony'. So delighted, in fact, was compelled to celebrate and liberated one of the copies by putting it in my pocket and walking out of the shop.
Now, let me say at this point I did feel a bit guilty. Also, I did not attempt theft without first checking that there wasn't a security tag on the book, that the staff were busy, and reminding self that we would be driving to another part of the country in a few minutes.
It's a good book. I also have the DVD of the Francios Truffaut film adaptation from 1965.
If it wasn't 0258 in the AM and if I wasn't exhausted and starting to think - and write - like Bridget Jones, I'd link up this post... look back later after I've had a chance to do it, 'k? Edit: Done!
You'll also notice, if you look closely enough, that that is - of course - not the security camera picture of me liberating new edition of classic Ray Bradbury novel. Of course it's not - unless you think I'm writing this from jail. I just stole the picture off the internet. God bless Google Image Search.
Goodness me I'm bad-ass.
5 comments:
About cows: if you get that close again, try singing to them. They LOVE singing, and will move closer. (And they're not very critical, don't worry.)
Great pictures - you say horses are a recent enthusiasm... how so?
I've been taking pictures of cows for years - mostly they end up in art-works like this. But this recent trip was the first time I've been so overwhelmed by the wonderous beauty of horses that I've snapped any pics of them.
Please don't ask me to recount the tale of when I leant on an electric fence trying to take a Polaroid photo of a cow, either.
Oh, do tell! I love electric fence stories, having been a victim more times than I'd like to admit. (Mostly due to my father saying, "Oh don't worry, I've turned it off" but actually meaning "Oh, don't worry, I WILL turn it off, whoops sorry I forgot.") It makes me feel less stupid to know that others have fallen for the 'innocent wire' facade.
Speaking of which, do you know how to test (painlessly) whether an electric fence is live or not? I learned this because I needed to: you take a loooong stalk of grass, and holding it by one end touch the other end to the wire. Move it sloooowly so that your hand nears the wire. At some point, if it's live, you'll feel the pulse, greatly diminished, through the grass stalk. Grass is a very weak conductor of electricity. FILE THIS INFORMATION AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE.
Yeah I have heard about the grass-electric-fence-test before... a pity I didn't use it in this case. Long story short... Hopped out of car all eager to photograph cow. Didn't hear fence making really obvious and in retrospect downright-menacing "tik-tik" sound. Leant on fence in order to get cow in Polaroid frame. **BANG** saw stars, ears ringing, bit deep into tongue, finger convulsed and I took bizarre auto-photo of psychedelic pattern. Also fried the rest of the Polaroid film cartridge... but camera was fine.
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