Mystery Monday: *****d ***g

A new regular feature showcasing mysterious tunes that take my fancy, juxtaposed with mysterious results from Google Image Search. Listen up, clickety-click and go where the web takes you...

Prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who the track is.

And if you are a maker of mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Political science

In 1972, Randy Newman put out an album called Sail Away and on it was the song Political Science -- the blackly humourous railing of a patriotic American against the state of the world and the negative perception held by the rest of the inhabitants of the planet about his "great" nation:

Randy Newman - Political Science (1.87 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Here're the lyrics, in case you're hard of hearing:

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paris
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

Comical stuff, huh. Laugh? I nearly cried.

So today's comment to America, the so-called "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave": 35 years later, do you think anyone likes you any more? Any less? Got any ideas why?

Tom Cruise is such a gimp

Just now reading Stuff, you can't escape the embarrassing conclusion that Tom Cruise is a fucking idiot.

Cruise plans underground bunker

Tom Cruise is allegedly planning to build a bunker underneath his house in preparation for the end of the world. The Top Gun star, who is a devout follower of Scientology, is said to believe evil intergalactic ruler Xenu will attack Earth and so has designed a place to hide underneath his Colorado mansion.

Tom Cruise fumes over inappropriate fart

Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute's silence. The actor - who is shooting World War II drama Valkyrie in Berlin - had paused filming to honour the anti-Nazi heroes portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to break wind during the tribute.

And get this:

The silence* was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.

Fuck me, what a gimp.

He also makes unwatchable films that might otherwise have been bearable. And as for what he's done to that sweet little angel Katie Holmes; doesn't bear thinking about.



* should that be "silence"? cos apparently it wasn't, y'know, silent.

Again, I beseech you... God Bless America

Fuck me, it just gets better and better. Appalled to read on Uncommon Sense that apparently, lethal force can be used by cops in America to end low-speed chases that follow from minor traffic infractions.

Appeals Court Authorizes Lethal Force in Low Speed Chases
A cop got away with murdering a motorcycle rider -- by chasing him down, ramming him and then driving over him when he refused to stop.

After turning onto Mount Shepherd Road, however, Deputy Sheriff Rodney Coe rammed the motorcycle a second time, knocking Gerald "Tiny" Abney off his bike and killing him. Abney's family filed a lawsuit claiming Coe used unreasonable force. In its July decision, the federal appeals court rejected the family's argument by asserting the low-speed chase was, in fact, dangerous.

Awesome. Truly awesome. "Don't Ram Me, Bro!"

Friday Farce: Are you having a good day? Really?

We've had Albert Kuvezin and Yat Kha, his Tuvan throat-singing rock band, before -- but that's no reason not to have him again.

Albert Kuvezin and Yat Kha - Orgasmatron (1.76 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Like I said:

.. at least is as comical as a drunk Irish pub band featuring a retarded Rumanian vampire/Dr. Frank-N-Furter-wannabe on vocals. Or something ..

...

And now for the rest of the news:

"Don't Tase Me, Bro!"
University of Florida student Andrew Meyer barges in line to harangue Massachusetts senator John Kerry during a campus talk that day; he refuses to pipe down after being asked to by the forum's organizers, police haul him off, force him to the ground and taser him.

Tom: Someone (I think it was either Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert) apparently described the incident as "a unique combination of police brutality and student douchebaggery". While it's an appalling example of the taser-happiness of the US police (here's another example: a guy tasered for the unforgivable crime of riding a bike), it's hard not to be reminded of Eric Idle in The Holy Grail: "Help, I'm being oppressed!", "Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

God Bless America!

Art or Bio-Terrorism? Justice Department makes big mistake
When a New York professor called 911 for his wife's heart attack, they mistook his science equipment for bioterrorism supplies. He was detained for 22 hours, they cordoned off his block, and searched his house in hazmat suits. When they realized there was nothing harmful there, they decided to prosecute him for "mail fraud" for buying the supplies!

No, god Bless America!

...

Busty tourist 'humiliated' at casino
A night of celebration turned to humiliation when an English tourist's "offensive" breasts upset fellow punters at the Christchurch Casino.

In all seriousness, though, DO bless women with colossal boobs -- god knows they don't have an easy time of it.

...

There's been another installment by The Commonsense Nihilist to his graphic novel, as well as some more notes.

Dylan/D.A.Pennebaker viral

Live seht

In case anyone's interested, here's an excerpt from my live show the other night, at Happy.

The gig went really well; I did a sorta minimal dub-remix -- using a laptop, mixer, and a whole slew of guitar effects boxes -- of some tracks I have been working on for an album that is hopefully gonna come out on Digitalis late late this year, or early the next.

Well at least, most of the show went well. Near the end, I totally overloaded the PA with some serious subsonic low-end, and the sound turned to shit but hey -- whatever.

Jason Kahn was really great, too.

(That pic is not from the other night, it's of me playing a couple of years ago in Sydney.)

Suck it, Jesus

Diminutive loudmouth Kathy Griffin annoys the piss out of me, but I gotta give her serious props for her acceptance speech at the recent Emmy award show:

A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus.

Griffin was collecting her Emmy for best reality program, for her Bravo channel show My Life on the D-List.

The outburst drew laughs from the crowd, and predictable outrage from stupid Americans, and other dumbfucks.

Eddy Vinsin - Juice Head Blues (2.46 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Knocked Up on DVD

Own It 9/25 on DVD.. in the States, anyways...

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya (2.46 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Mystery Monday: ******s

A new regular feature showcasing mysterious tunes that take my fancy, juxtaposed with mysterious results from Google Image Search. Listen up, clickety-click and go where the web takes you...

Prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who the track is.

And if you are a maker of mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Gigs coming up

I'm doing a solo gig as Seht on Sunday night. I'm playing in support of Jason Kahn, from Switzerland.

Jason Kahn is a sound and visual artist based in Zürich whose work includes drawing, sound installation, performance and composition. He was born in New York, grew up in Los Angeles and relocated to Europe in 1990. Kahn has been exhibiting his sound and visual works since the late 1990's, and has had solo and group exhibitions in museums, galleries and arts spaces pretty much everywhere in the damn world.

Originally a percussionist, Kahn later began integrating live electronics into his playing. He currently performs with different combinations of percussion, analogue synthesizer or computer. As a composer, Kahn's work addresses the entity of sound as both a physical and psychological factor shaping our consciousness; his sound installations seek to enhance spatial awareness through sonic intervention, focusing on expanding our perception to other dimensions of seeing, hearing and feeling a space.

(For more information about Jason and his work, see his site.)

JASON KAHN
with SEHT and JEFF HENDERSON
HAPPY SUNDAY SEPT 23


PLUS

The Stumps are playing at the White Fungus issue #8 launch on Wednesday night. This is also at Happy. Also appearing are FERTILITY FESTIVAL. Keep an eye on the White Fungus News blog for more information.

Gwan, yknow ya wanna.

Catching up

Sorry about the delay there; nothing to worry about, just had a bit of a messy midweek with which to contend. Thanks for your long-suffering tolerance, though.

• I has a profile at NZ Cricket Online. Nothing to get excited about, though, it's all a bit of a laugh. Speaking of cricket, though, it's almost the beginning of the new season, and the mighty Falconhawk(e) is about to rise from the ashes of um.. last season.
• The Commonsense Nihilist is taking the New Zealand Security Intelligence Service head-on in his own inimitable way.
• It was Kiran's birthday the other night; we had a drunken blast -- part of which involved her challenging me that I couldn't sling her over my shoulder and cart her down the street (silly girl!). She loved the present I got her.

Oh, and check out these guys:

They're Welsh rugby players Adam Jones, Colin Charvis and Duncan Jones. Aren't they the CUTEST???? Don't you love their hair?

Me too.

They look like big fluffy poodles, not mean, ferocious forwards in a rugby team.

Friday Farce: The Jeru world of Salem

Ok, don't talk to me, you gotta blame Jani for this one (tail end of the Friday Farce Jerusalem saga -- you cans follow it back in time):

Bruce Dickinson - Jerusalem (feat. Arthur Brown) (4.56 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Bruce Dickinson is of course the singer in Iron Maiden, not that that has stopped him from over the years making a bunch of albums on his own. This version of Jerusalem --not exactly a cover, more a re-setting of the William Blake poem to different music again -- is from his 1998 album The Chemical Wedding.

The spoken-word part at the end is performed by Arthur Brown. Yep, you heard me right, THE Arthur Brown.

He of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown. He of the theatrical performances. He of the outlandish costumes and helmets of fire. He of the demented, fire-obsessed lyrical visions and swooping, theatrical vocals:

One of the most electrifying one-shot artists of the '60s, British singer Arthur Brown briefly set the charts alight in 1968, and his debut album was surely one of the most left-field commercial successes of the late '60s, if not of rock history...

Here's his signature tune Fire, as well as the maniacal cover of Screaming Jay Hawkins' I Put A Spell On You which appeared on the same album.

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire (2.12 MB mp3)

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - I Put A Spell On You (2.79 MB mp3)

The news for Tues

All Blacks accused of Pacific pillage - again
Welshman and English rugby apologist Stephen Jones once again trots out his traditionally predictable, boring shite about New Zealand rugby and as usual, conveniently ignores the immigration trends of Pacific Islanders moving to New Zealand and the diverse cultural mix in our major cities.

He's also a really, really unattractive man. Now I'm not averse to a Welshman, me, but gee whiz, send him back to the fucken valleys wouldya?


Chinese man dies after three-day internet session
Meanwhile Chinese President Hu Jintao is heading a campaign to rid the internet of "unhealthy" content and make it a platform for Communist Party doctrine.

*is looking forward to being able to read the complete works of Mao online*

KFC drives Restaurant Brands' sales boost
Restaurant Brands is reporting second quarter sales across its three New Zealand businesses up 5.8 per cent to $93.6 million, in the most driven by solid growth in the KFC business.

Wow. People still eat KFC?


Who was that masked All Black?
A rather large individual with a hood over his head runs manically through a Rugby World Cup media conference.

Carl Hayman amuses and then shocks world media by first doing his impression of a gimp, followed by his "Michael Jackson" (sans infant, of course) and "the one that always slays em", a member of Black September at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Can - Mother Upduff (4.1 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

My new favourite blog: Corporate-Alien Blog

George Lunt's Corporate-Alien Blog:

Favourite two recent posts:

• Conflict of Interest between Drug Companies and Doctors

Malevolent extra-terrestrials and alien corporations are trying to poison us through substandard pharmeceuticals.

• The "Click It Or Ticket" Road to Fascism

Emotional propaganda used to encourage people to observe seatbelt laws is analogous to campaigns used by Hitler to "get his people to let him make important decisions for them".

The blog actually just seems to be a wrapper/index for the Corporate/Aliens site.

Blog author George Lunt also writes Lunt's World.

Mystery Monday: ***t

A new regular feature showcasing mysterious tunes that take my fancy, juxtaposed with mysterious results from Google Image Search. Listen up, clickety-click and go where the web takes you...

Prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who the track is.

And if you are a maker of mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Friday Farce bonus edition: The Fall of Jerusalem

Said it wasn't gonna happen. It is. Oh well.

The Fall - Jerusalem (2.81 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

The Fall are great.

My new favourite blog: Things I Find

Things I Find... is a blog about finding stuff (mostly writing, and pictures, on bits of paper):

Yeah, I do realise that this is not an earth-shatteringly original concept (Found magazine; Dirty Found magazine.)

Blog author James Aaron Lindsey also writes OCD-MAN.

Friday farce: The Subject was Faggots

Street poet Gil Scott-Heron (wikipedia) gets a lot of props for being a right-on brother and so on; his 'song' The Revolution will not be Televised is played and covered and referenced and quoted often, and rightly so -- it's a cute li'l slice of invective -- although to be honest it has become a little too much like a Ché Guevera tshirt/poster to carry too much cultural significance any more.

The album that track is taken from -- Small Talk at 125th and Lennox (allmusic) -- was recorded live in a New York nightclub with only bongos and conga as backing, and it's regarded as "a volcanic upheaval of intellectualism and social critique". However it is blighted by the inclusion of a stupid, confused, and rancidly homophobic track called The Subject Was Faggots.

Gil Scott-Heron - The Subject Was Faggots (1.91 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

...

A guy called Chris Crocker got pretty (in)famous pretty damn quick for his Youtube video slating the critics of Britney Spears after her MTV VMAs debacle.

God, check out some of those comments. 40 years older, nothing's changed. (It was even worse in the comments on the follow-up video, which was pulled down by Chris after only a few hours.) And even worse was that when Fox news covered it, a good deal of time was spent making derogatory remarks about Chris' sexual androgeny.

My comment to America, the so-called "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave": shut the fuck up about freedom, until gay people are safe from your hateful "freedom-loving" "christian" "patriots".

...

Check out and even download the Gil Scott-Heron album here.

My favourite new blog: 100 word

100 word blog: "with the short of attention in mind" -- great concept, posts of no more than 100 words. For example, where he kinda pwns Che's toasted-sandwich post.

Good stuff.