Ain't nothing going on...

Mo'vember Update

Progress: I'm well sick of this fucking moustache. It's bristley, itchy, and women give me funny looks. It also - apparently - makes me look like a paedophile. (Although it could be argued that my accuser just has trouble accepting that he finds attractive men.. well.. attractive).

Basically I can't wait until the end of the month. However, you can make the next 8 or so days more bearable by sponsoring my hirsuteness. Here is the officially-sanctioned spiel re. the same:

Hi all,

During Movember (the month formerly known as November) I'll be growin a moustache. That's right I'm bringing the Mo back because I'm passionate about changing the state of men's health.

Male health is a major issue, did you know:

1. Men are far less healthy than women. The average life expectancy of males is 6 years less than females.
2. Every year in New Zealand about 600 men die of prostate cancer – about the same as the number of women who die from breast cancer.

Help me change the face of men's health by sponsoring my mo.

Please go to http://www.movember.com/nz/sponsor, enter my Rego number which is 55551 and your credit card details. All donations over $5 are tax deductible.

The money raised by Movember will be used to create awareness and fund support networks for those that suffer from prostate cancer.

Cheers

More info is available at www.movember.com

Movember is proudly grown by Motorola, Polaroid, Remington and VB. Movember is proud partners with the Prostate Cancer Foundation of New Zealand.

So yeah.

Y'know, all this comedy-moustache growing must make those who usually sport a hairy decoration upon their upper lips feel kinda stink. Everyone's all like "ewww gross.. a moustache.. ha ha ha ha ha gross out.. kiddie-fiddler" etc. and they're all quietly going "oh. damn. I thought I looked pretty good".

NP: Leviathan - The Tenth Sub Level Of Suicide (Encyclopaedia Metallum)

Mo'vember update: 1/2-way mark

Pictured (left) is yours truly at about 1 am, Thursday 16th. Observe stunning bed-hair.

Progress: Disappointing. However, although some health experts have warned against it, I have a new model to aspire to. A Lemmy (right).

NP: Urfaust - II: Verraeterischer, Nichtswuerdiger Geist (Encyclopaedia Metallum)

Mo'vember update

Pictured (right) is yours truly at about midnight, Monday 13th. While there is now certainly something approaching definition, my upper lip is nowhere near as hirsute as I had hoped for at this point, nearly 1/2 way through the month. I've been in Auckland again the last few days and the (moderate but certainly not excessive) humidity must not be good for mo'-growin.

I'm thinking I may have to resort to hair-growth encouragement strategies. Top of the list would be such time-honoured tactics as:
1. Lotions / potions / tonics
2. Pagan hair-growth encouragement rituals (poss. see 1.)
3. Mo'-dancing (see: rain-dancing)
and so on.

Your suggestions are welcomed.

NP: Katharsis - VVorld VVithout End (Aquarius Records website)

Mo'vember

Ooh haven't I been a bad blogger. Who's a bad blogger? Me.. me.. that's who. Been flitting about all over the place - playing music, having fun, working a bit.. and not keeping y'all informed. Sorry. Now on to the topic at hand.

Introduction

It's Mo'vember. I'm participating. It's all in a good cause; men's health. You can read about it here.

So at the beginning of the month I was clean-shaven - or at least as clean-shaven as I ever get in public (see right). That means.. about days worth of stubble - a light sprinkling - nothing too serious at all.

Design Phase

I decided at the outset that I wanted to go for a kinda "Carlos the Jackal" (assassin) combined with a "John Wayne Gacy" (serial killer):

Not that I can even find a decent picture of Carlos the Jackel with a mustache; he really was the master of disguise, I guess. I hope this one (above, left) with the well-groovy glasses will suffice.

Implementation Phase

Now, one week in, we have the beginnings of mo'. As you can see (left) I have not quite achieved the desired aesthetic effect - more of a 1970s undercover cop thing going on.

However, all is not lost; this possibly may be able to be groomed into a fully-stylish Grizz Wylie (right) - we shall see.

Stay tuned.

NP: Basic Channel - Basic Channel (wikipedia)

Friday Farce Bonus Edition: 911 is a Joke

So yeah. Been in Dunedin for Lines of Flight. More soon.

But I thought since a Friday-Farce-missed is a Friday-Farce-lost, I'd stump up a bonus edition. And it's not even Friday. Holy crap! Simon Le Bon, John Taylor et. al. vs Flavor Flav, Chuck D, Professor Griff and crew. Me? My money's on the Flavor*.

Duran Duran - 911 is a Joke (2.41 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

Yep. *Thanks Niwi.

NP: Mammatus - Mammatus (myspace)

Risible

For anyone who read in the Dominion Post today that Wi Huata composed the 'poem' which he dictated to journalists outside the Court of Appeal:

You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies.
You may trod me in the very dirt but still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells pumping in my living room.
Just like the moon and the sun, with the certainty of tides,
just like hope springing high, still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken, bowed head with lowered eyes,
shoulders falling just like teardrops weeping by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness upset you? Don't you take it awfully hard.
Because I laugh like I've got gold mines digging in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes,
you may kill me with your hatefulness but still like air I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise?
Because I dance like I've got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs.
Out of the huts of shame I rise.
Out of the past that's written, rooted in pain I rise.
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
welling and swelling, I bring in the tide.
Leaving behind the lights of terror and fear I rise.
Into the daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise.
Bringing the gifts my ancestors gave,
I am the hope and the dream of the slave.
I rise, I rise, I rise.

.. I felt it necessary to point out that the 'poem' is actually by African-American writer Dr. Maya Angelou (wikipedia) (which makes much more sense of the diamonds at the meeting of my thighs line, in particular, not to mention the whole slave bit as well).

..just in case someone reading it was so moved they decided to award him an OBE for Services to Literature. Or something.


NP: Burzum - Det Som En Gang Var (Burzum home)

Bowles

Is brandishing a Paul Bowles (wikipedia) paperback now somewhat akin to wearing a pink triangle badge?

Is is the gay-male equivalent to the whole bananas-in-the-shopping-trolley thing?

NP: Cutting Pink with Knives - Didi Got Fisted at the Smiths Disco (20JazzFunkGreats blog)

Stumps vs. Stomps

Thanks to everyone who ventured out in the cold and wet last Wednesday night to see The Stumps playing with Birchville Cat Motel and The Dukes of Leisure at Valve. It was a great show and a fantastic turnout.

On Thursday The Stumps and B.C.M. head down to Dunedin to play in the Lines of Flight festival. The Stumps are up on the first night, at Arc Cafe, with Rory Storm and the Invaders, Crude, and Dave Black; the show kicks off at 7.30pm sharp. Birchville Cat Motel is playing the next night at Dunedin Public Art Gallery, again from 7.30pm sharp, with Sam Hamilton, Gate, and Greg Malcolm.

It's gonna be great to be playing L.o.F. again; the last time I was there was in 2000 and funnily-enough I was playing in Birchville Cat Motel at the time. It was freezing cold and Dunedin was far more grimy than I would have ever expected, but the beer was good and I had a really fantastic time.

Hopefully I'll see some of yuz there!

...

Speaking of Birchville Cat Motel, more specifically, my contribution to the band: Last Visible Dog, a record label operating out of Providence, Rhode Island in the U.S.A., has recently released a 3CD set of live B.C.M. performances called Curved Surface Destroyer. It spans 1998 - 2006 and includes recordings of shows in New Zealand, Japan, Denmark and Scotland. Anyway, one of the concerts was recorded when I was playing in the band - in 2000 at The Space, in Newtown - and it was a really good one, too.

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Apparently there's a Stumps-tribute band called The Stomps kicking around in here in Wellington. Ok so I'm lying about the Stumps-tribute bit. Cool.


NP: Ike Yard - Cherish (20JazzFunkGreats blog)

Hey. Now that's more like it.

Hey. Now that's more like it. I was hoping the way, way better version of Heart of Glass as performed by the the Associates (allmusic) would turn up.

And whaddayaknow.. it did.

Associates - Heart of Glass [good version] (2.51 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

This one is from vol. 2 of the posthumous collection Radio One Sessions 1981-1985 which appeared on Strange Fruit records in 2003.

The difference between this, and the later single version, is the difference between night and day. Massively-talented Alan Rankine's influence is utterly tangible in the markedly better production, and dig that intro belying MacKenzie and Rankine's origins in the cabaret-style band Caspian. Hear Billy MacKenzie actually live up to his reputation as a vocalist of note, with this idiosyncratic and charismatic performance. Hear the Associates do the cover thing right as they make this song their own. Joy!


NP: Nadja & Fear Falls Burning - We Have Departed The Circle Blissfully (Conspiracy records)

Up

Whoo hoo.. the calendar has ticked over and I've got bandwidth again. Or at least, you've got bandwidth again, dear reader, with which to peruse my banal musings. Unfortunately what I DON'T have are the posts full of essential issue which I prepared during the downtime and (or so I thought) carefully saved.

I shall not attempt to recreate; I shall just leave you with this thought: It's really fun getting hate-mail. Much more than you'd think.

NP: Atavist - Atavist (Invada records)

Friday farce: Heart of glass

I actually like the Associates (allmusic)... I like them a lot. The Scots duo of Billy Mackenzie (vocals) and Alan Rankine (instruments) were critically adored but sadly their curious and compelling blend of white-boy soul balladeers a la Scott Walker, tense new-Romantic electro-pop and the overwrought anguish of late-70s Bowie - in style, content and vocal delivery - was never going to take them into the same leagues of popular success as your Human Leagues and your Ultravoxs.

None of that, however, excuses them this drippy, anaemic cover of Blondie's Heart of Glass - though to be fair, Alan Rankine pro'ly didn't have anything to do with it.

Associates - Heart of Glass (2.51 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

If you can get it, the 7" or 12" single is worth owning for the wonderful cover image of a Manhattan skyline overpainted in iccky pastels - but don't ever play it. Twice.

Billy MacKenzie tragically committed suicide at the age of 40, in 1997.

NP: Associates - Boys Keep Swinging (much better)

Sputnik II

Hi. This is my new EP which has been released by Melbourne, Australia label diagnosis...DON'T! reCoRdings (myspace page). It's called Sputnik II.

This is what they said on Aquarius Records' website:

"Of all the noisemakers from New Zealand and Australia, Seht, aka Stephen Clover, is by far the dreamiest and droniest and -least- noisy. Which might be why he holds such a special place in our hearts. And ears. Every Seht disc is a gloriously blissed out tranquil exploration of some deep dark ambient wonderland. There's nothing harsh or heavy, caustic or corrosive, instead, listening to Seht is like drifting through space, or floating a hundred feet below the surface of some clear blue sea. Everything shimmers and sparkles, flows and swirls, the sounds are soft and delicate, distant and dreamy, ethereal and indistinct. Soft focus and beautifully blurry. And this little three inch is no different. Gorgeous and serene. This disc definitely feels like a dark drift along the ocean floor, due to the haunting sonar-like pulse that permeates the whole track, it's not at all distracting though, just the contrary, very hypnotic and soothing, an organic, super minimal pulse, a barely there framework for the slow shifting liquid drones."

That was nice, wasn't it. This is my page for the Sputnik II EP.

...

I've also been getting some great reviews for my recent CD The Green Morning from various people; you can read them here on my website. If you follow some of the links, you can find audio samples and so forth.

AND I got blogged by 20 Jazz Funk Greats!

x seht/.


NP: PPJ Mixtape #24 - Liza Minelli and Richard Nixon Having A Diarrhea Fight (Post-Punk Junk blog)

Friday Farce: The Light 3000

Sorry no posting - week from hell. And so today just something quick 'n' dirty, too.

...

I ain't no The Smiths-fanatic, or S. P. Morrissey-apologist, but I like them well enough. They did some good songs, and they did some dire ones. And when all's said and done, most bands can hope for no better remembrance than that.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out (review) - from 1986's The Queen is Dead (allmusic) - is "one of the most touching and romantic songs in the Smiths' discography". German electronica artist Schneider TM tries hard with this version, but end up committing the worst sin of all when it comes to cover-versions: the sin of being pointless. It's.. just.. dull. And pointless.

Schneider TM - The Light 3000 (2.4 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

And don't those robot-vocals render the plaintively-despairing sentiment of the original into something nasty. Possibly ironic/sarcastic - who can tell. I hate ironic sarcasm. Bloody jarmans.

...

Ha ha ha. The URL for Morrissey ends in *wat. That's awesome.

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NP: Tirath Singh Nirmala - Bluster, Cragg & Awe (Digitalis, 2006)

Lights! Camera! Bullshit!

Wow. Nice going, WCC. Yep, lets bully hundreds of businesses to leave their lights on all night, two nights in a row, with no compensation.

Let's block off blocks and blocks of the CBD, two nights in a row, with no warning signage or detour routes.

Let's fuck up the late bus routes, two nights in a row, with no notification.

Let's send tow-trucks to shift parked cars down several blocks of Featherston Street, leaving the poor owners assuming they'd been nicked.

Let's have collossally loud black helicopters with search lights flailing all over the place terrorising apartment dwellers, and barrelling down Lambton Quay just above the bus-wires like they're reenacting the final scenes in fucking Star Wars; all we were missing, as we stood and watched in irritated, bewildered confusion - and wondered when the S.W.A.T. team was gonna arrive - was Darth Vader twisting his (steering-)knob and making weird backwards elephant sounds.

For what? A fucking car commercial.

Cunts.

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NP: The Stumps - Dry Eyed Twitch (Cycle) (on Diagnosis... Don't recordings)

Friday Farce: Highway to Hell

I love Nathan.

I mean, I really, really, really love Nathan.

I love Nathan with a love that's a bit like the love you have for a brother, but it's more than that - it's more along the lines of the love I imagine you have for the guys you go to war with; your "brothers in arms".

Brothers in beer. Brothers in rock. Brothers in ladies. Brothers in fucked-up families and semi-cult religious orders. I dunno, shit, none of that makes sense. I just know that I really, really love Nathan.

This one's for you, dude.

Hayseed Dixie - Highway to Hell [from A Hillbilly tribute to AC/DC] (1.50 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

And good christ, I also know that I can't actually bear to listen to this long enough to write anything more about it.

So enjoy. And remember, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

...

NP: Tivol - Early Teeth (review; more reading about Tivol)

Hijinks

About 6pm on a Tuesday evening, down at the bus-terminus, it was all goin' on. Workmen were standing around the side of the road, drinking malt-liquor and lighting their farts.

Meanwhile, two bus-drivers parked up in the bus-corral, and loudly and with much gesticulation told "yo mama" jokes to each other.

Then the sun set.

(click on little ones to see big ones)

...

Kate has linked to the hilarious Skinny Model Ban Shocks Fashion World story. I couldn't resist commenting.


NP: The Clear Spots - Electricity for All (Noiseweek blog-post)

Espresso 'Martini' showdown

When I was in Melbourne recently, I had a new drink experience. After a show, about 2 a.m., we were at a cute little bar Little Lonsdale St called Troika. I was fucked. We'd already done three late nights on the trot and I was coming down with the nasty cold/flu virus which everyone we'd been hanging out with to that point had either reported as having had, or being in the process of getting. Earlier in the evening I'd had a full-on fevered delirium-attack which had had to be beaten off with Scotch and Coldrex, and this only-ever-temporary of poultices was starting to wear off. Putting it simply, I was in the market for the sort of "pick-me-up" I'd hitherto only ever achieved with a brace of Red Bull and Jaegermeisters.

I approached the bar with the full intention of ordering exactly that (two Red Bull and Jaegermeisters). This was when I found the cocktail menu, and what I think they called a "Coffee Martini". (Tom settle down.) (You too, J.) Since it had a shot of espresso, and a more-than-decent amount of white spirits, I made a sudden executive decision and ordered one. It was wonderful - it was like an alcoholic iced coffee laced with speed; it peeled my eyes back, and cleared my head. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Since my return, I've been trying to recreate this drink, and this is what I have come up with.

Option 1 (from DrinksMixer.com) 1 oz cold espresso 1.5 oz Absolut vodka 1.5 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur 1 oz white creme de cacao

Option 2 (also from DrinksMixer.com) 3 oz espresso 1.5 oz vodka 1.5 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur 1 oz Bailey's Irish cream

(as usual, 1 oz is one measure, 30 ml).

Instructions (for both Option 1 and 2): Pour ingredients into shaker filled with ice, shake vigorously, and strain into chilled martini glass. It should be somewhat frothy.

A good comparison between the results can be seen in the top images (In both, Option 2 can be seen to the left, and Option 1 to the right).

My comments:
I far preferred Option 1, but I don't like Bailey's to begin with so Option 2 was doomed from the start. Option 2 is extremely powerful - I began to see aliens in my peripheral vision, and worry that my heart was going to wear out. It's also just kinda too sweet.

The "head" on Option 2 is much more full and pronounced than on Option 1; conversely Option 1 has a much nicer, dark appearance.

Other comments:
Miss K (after a mouthful of Option 2): "I'm palpitating!"
Housemate N: Option 1 is too astringent (possibly due to poor quality espresso, though probably due to poor quality white creme de cacao).

Both preferred Option 2. As an occasional alcohol drinker and an occsional coffee drinker, Housemate N was up all night.

(click images to see larger versions).

...

NP: Comets on Fire - Avatar (MySpace page)

White creme de cacao: a slight return

Mr. X
Kings Liquors
Greenhithe, Auckland
New Zealand.

Dear Mr. X,

Recently I purchased a bottle of your white creme de cacao liqueur from an outlet in Wellington. I'm a bit worried that there may be something wrong with it, however, because while everything I've read and heard about white creme de cacao lead me to expect that it would taste of chocolate, your product does not. Taste of chocolate, that is. Well, possibly very faintly, but only that. In fact I would be much more prepared to suggest that it tastes like vanilla.

For your reference and mine, DrinksMixer.com states of white creme de cacao that it is "A colorless chocolate-flavored liqueur made from the cacao seed". While your product is cerainly almost colourless (a faint but acceptable yellow-ish tint is observable), there ain't no "chocolate-flavoured" to be spoken of.

So I would greatly appreciate it if you would please either (a) convince me that my expectations for its "chocolatey-ness" (is that even a word? I'm sure you know what I mean either way) are far too high; or (b) agree that there may be something wrong with the bottle of liqueur in my possession.

Yours in cocktails,

stephen clover.

NP: Lomov - Mounting Stags EP (Thinner netlabel)

Friday farce: Seventeen seconds

Poor old The Cure. For their sins, they've attracted far more than their fair share of "tribute" albums, rich-pickin' for cover-version atrocity hunters such as yours truly. They also took a good and well-deserved pasting a couple of weeks ago, and it seems in keeping with the cyclic nature of things that we now turn the spotlight onto a bunch of gothic twits *ahem* Cure fans, The Escape.

1980's Seventeen Seconds is one of the few truly great Cure albums; brooding and melancholic, with sparks of driving pop-motorik in the singles, and flashes of madness in-between times. The short titular track concludes the album perfectly with a repetitive piano (oops) bass motif and a reflective lyric. Its just a really nice tune.

I just really have one thing to say to "darkwave"-clowns The Escape, and it's to the vocalist leading this bunch of butchers: Who the fuck do you think you are.. Andrea Boccelli?

The Escape - Seventeen Seconds [from VA - Our Voices: A Tribute to the Cure] (3.38 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

Here's a review of the Our Voices compilation this track is part of; notable principally for being possibly the worst review I've ever read in my entire life.


NP: Chrome - Half Machine Lip Moves / Alien Soundtracks (allmusic)

Oh, I was just thinking about you

I'm looking forward to developments on this story:

Phone telepathy: You knew it was true (Reuters via CNN.com)

God knows it happens to me an awful lot. And 1000,000,000,000-to-one against is pretty formidible odds.

...

Re. Germaine Greer's remarks about the recently demised Steve Irwin: You go, girl.

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UK "guerrilla artist" Bansky (Wikipedia entry here) in-situ culture-jam of 100s of Paris Hilton CDs:


Paris Hilton targeted in CD prank (from BBC News) (watch "making-of" video-clip on YouTube)

Every time I read the name Banksy, though, I think of this other guy...

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NP: DJ Name's Electric Caboose Aug 2006 mix (for some reason not listed yet; download from here)